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 Post subject: Moby - how I got 'here'
Post Number:#1  PostPosted: 18 Aug 2010 06:57 
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Moby - how did I get here?


part I

December 31st 1999 - Life Changing Moment – my Father drops dead – early morning - on Millennium Eve – playing golf ( only 64 yrs old) – I end up spending the ‘big night’ 1500 miles away from my kids ( whom I’ve left in the UK) in Southern Spain, to comfort my Mum and need to sort out getting Dad’s body back..... While I’m stuck there, a rather large cheque, from my biggest client – representing 80% of my profit - bounces.. I’ve gone from ‘success’ to ‘impotent’...
5 months later they go under, owing me more than my house – that we nearly owned outright - was worth.. it was dotcom crash time, and this company had had the highest credit rating and I didn’t insure their debt ..

I came home from Spain and during Dad’s funeral, decide that I will never have a marriage like my parents’ ...
Not unsurprisingly, my then Wife – realising our life-style is about to take a big ‘hit’ - starts wanting financial reassurances I can’t give – I have company is currently insolvent, for gawd’s sake.. So we ‘agree’ [ she went to Court and got what I’d offered ! ] that she can keep the proceeds of the house sale – and now I’m a ‘bachelor’ of forty-one living with Mum... Not exactly, good marriage material..

Ex-wife found someone else- and I felt a BIG ‘guilt’ lifted from my shoulders..

Some ‘mates’ from the Sailing Club, put my profile on a dating site – now ‘swallowed’ by match.com – and I found myself getting letters from Russian speaking ladies... ( NOTE: I never seriously considered a profile of anyone a decade younger than I – and rejected – out of hand – letters from them.. So being ‘scammed’ has never been an issue.)

The Soviet Union and it’s demise had always intrigued me and I got work that allowed me to travel to Berlin and Hamburg – you could still feel the differences from former Soviet Block cities and those never under Soviet control.. I had read the works of Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn – after being entranced by ‘One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich’ – and I talked with ‘Ossies’ – former East Germans who had good and bad to tell of those times.
So when I got a letter from a Russian speaker in Cyprus – I was considering a life changing new start – I decided to respond – and combined a visit with checking out the chances of biz idea I had..

I got offered a Directorship of a Cypriot biz, that said they would finance my idea, and rented a house, near the sea.

The Cypriot turned out to be a guy who wanted my idea, but wasn’t going to share fairly, so I left within four months - to make my own biz, and the Russian speaking lady bought her own place –deciding I was high risk!! She introduced me to lots of Russian speakers, and I preferred their company- The Brits/ Irish tended to enjoy life in a bar too much – I prefer the outdoor life..
I ended up doing OK, and took on a Russian speaker, Alexey, who REALLY helped my Russian, while he improved his English... We had nought in common – save our work – we ‘discussed’ politics as we drove to clients and he told me I needed a’ good Russian wife’..

I returned to the dating sites and now had the ‘benefit’ of knowing some Russian and ‘customs’.. but I hadn’t BEEN to the ‘real’ Former Soviet Union.. YET..
There was no-one to ‘guide’ me in which site was ‘good/ bad’ and I was ‘attracted’ by the ‘Anastassias’ and ‘Army of Brides’ type, pay per letter sites.. [MUG]... I’m not saying there aren’t real ladies there, but if they didn’t want to ‘go direct’.. to leave the ‘gravy train’ - I moved on quickly.
I also decided that I would ONLY seek a lady who could speak enough English to communicate via phone - HAH ! – read on, to see how I failed to listen to my own counsel ...
So, that’s it for today- until the next part.( next weekend) .. but I need to point out that there won’t be photos of any lady I met - I’m thinking of my Wife, them, and any guy they might of subsequently met.. that’s all... If anyone is interested enough to read – I hope they might learn from my experiences / mistakes / ‘triumphs’ ..

WEEKLY ‘BIG HELP’ CLUES OF THE WEEK:


1/ Take off your shoes off when entering the home of FSU folk

2/ Learn the Cyrillic alphabet.. you’ll be AMAZED at how much easier it is to understand many Russian words..

3/ Read novels written by famous folk from the region

4/ Watch English versions of films made about the region - WHY? Most ladies you meet will be impressed that you were interested...

5/ DO NOT start off this venture with 'empty pockets'

Some links to Cyprus work and pleasure :

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2189/174 ... 82c7b4.jpg My co-worker in Cyprus Alexey


http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1203/525 ... ca9fd9.jpg

A Picnic with Russians in the Troodos Mountains - this is December and we are 1000m above sea level


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 Post subject: Re: Moby - how I got 'here'
Post Number:#2  PostPosted: 18 Aug 2010 10:11 
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i'm looking forward to part 2, interesting story

[thumbs.gif]


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 Post subject: Re: Moby - how I got 'here'
Post Number:#3  PostPosted: 19 Aug 2010 11:40 
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Interesting story and I hope you post more to read.

Visit you photo albums and had a look [biggrin.gif]

You look a nice couple! [thumbs.gif]

Best wishes

Hanna


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 Post subject: Re: Moby - how I got 'here'
Post Number:#4  PostPosted: 19 Aug 2010 21:29 
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Thanks, Hanna . you are too kind ! [veryhappy.gif]

She's the nice one.. I'm the guy who gives Yanni a 'hard time' [lol.gif]

Take care

Mark


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 Post subject: Re: Moby - how I got 'here'
Post Number:#5  PostPosted: 21 Aug 2010 16:46 
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Moby - how did I get here?


Part II

I returned to the dating sites - checking out AWeb, Army of Brides - both use the pay by letter opened / read biz model - and realised this was a 'mug's game' ..

I sought out the ladies on other dating sites...

My 'target' age range was max seven years years younger than myself [ I was 43 ] - preferably the lady had been married and had kids - I have two kids and CAN'T have any more...I am a 'Jaffa' - seedless - having had a vasectomy, at 41 - my choice.

I was seeking a women who could speak English to a passable level, via the phone - not many FSUW had fast enough internet for SKYPE.. an I HATE 'chat'....

All these 'criteria' severely limited my choice - but I think it was realistic.

Aweb, Army of Brides, Behappy2day and their ilk, continued to suggest ladies of 22 wanted to have my babies

I was even getting 'help' from divorced FSU ladies in Limassol, Cyprus ...I helped them with THEIR profiles and vice-versa... They would cook me a meal and I'd set up their new broadband connection and profiles I still sell connectivity via satellite to clients where cabled solutions aren't possible ... We would even go to the beach at the weekends and I would be their 'chaperone' .. Most Cypriot men didn't bother them, when I was presnt - as they didn't know which lady was my g/f

I found a site called eastwestmatch.com [now leads to club10, which I can't comment on ] It was possible to see who was looking at your profile, send PMs and 'chat'... my profiles always made it clear that I would not appreciate the 'opening move' being a 'chat', as normally the lady clearly hadn't bothered to READ my profile and was 'vacuous'

My work took me to various places and I was asked to do some work in SPb ( St.Petersburg) ..somewhere I've always wanted to see. One lady, a linguist from another city, agreed to meet me there and we hit it off. I got to see many sites in SpB thanks to her and the company I was with, and learnt loads about Russia.

This lady came to Cyprus for a holiday with her daughter ( 17 yrs old) but although she was just about perfect, as a partner, she was kind enough to tell me that she had a STD from a previous relationship and offered me the option of - 'not progressing' .... to my discredit I took a long time to decide and the lady even invited me to visit her home city - but I ultimately declined... Was I 'selfish'? May be so.. but I think this would always have concerned me and sexual compatibility is important .

Lessons learnt

1/ Be truthful in your profile re wishes for the type of marriage / partnership you seek

2/ Be sure you can communicate and have common core values {spelling edited -thx Donhollio }

3/ You MUST see St Petersburg with someone that is proud of Russian Art / Culture

4/ Sorry - it should be obvious - DO NOT have unprotected intercourse - even oral sex - unless you are sure of the partner - and be sure to have discussed WHY, before hand ..lest she thinks you a prude.. [ For anyone who believes that you should refrain from such things until after marriage - sorry] *I* think this might apply to adults of a younger age - who have never been married - and can 'court' more conventionally

Next Week: Kiev/ Kyiv


Beach life - with Russians - my birthday

Attachment:
GovBeach- my bday 06.jpg


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 Post subject: Re: Moby - how I got 'here'
Post Number:#6  PostPosted: 28 Aug 2010 10:38 
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Moby - how did I get here?


Part III

So, Moby is still 'looking'..

and goes back to dating sites..

I am reminded of Vinny as I think I 'knew' just about every lady - who I considered 'suitable' ( and those I 'excluded' as 'unsuitable' ) - 'knowing' where all her profiles where, and 'inconsistencies' - these 'inconsistencies' can often tell you more about a person's profile than what they don't write .. I could tell how long they'd been looking, and if they might be fibbing about their age..

My attitude to that was, "if they can lie about that - what else will they lie about ?!" I noticed many ladies hitting 35-40 suddenly took years of their profile... rightly or wrongly I excluded them.

I was clearly single, and my profiles were 'hard' - no more kids wanted - but I still got the usual daft letters from women half my age looking for a father for their [ future] kids.. I had always replied in person to all such contacts - I was free of the pay by letter 'disease', now - so these letters simply got binned - my principle was " if you can't read my 'Blxxdy' profile- you ain't worth replying to".. remember those words .. they will come back to 'haunt' me...

I found a lady in Ukraine - who obviously had a good career, spoke good English, and was only a year younger than me - OK, she was attractive and had a great figure , too ! :oops: I had work lined up in UA, so we agreed to meet.

I went to Kiev/Kyiv for the first time, and when we met - she looked as good as the profile suggested - no SKYPE video possible with UA internet speeds back then.. But there seemed to be no chemistry between us - I couldn't relax - and although she took me around the city, [ she was a good guide - I adore Kyiv] it seem she was going through the motions..

Aha, was I going to spend 5 days on a WOVO/ work trip and waste my time?.. NAW... those of you who know me would be shoocked to know I had a 'plan B' [surprised.gif]

The first lady said she needed to go to work - she did work Saturdays - and had warned me that she wouldn't be free. I had met some Brit guys who invited me to an UK Embassy garden party.. I decided to invite a lady with whom I had corresponded, but excluded, as she had kids of 15 and 17 - and she was keen for them to finish education in the home nation....she was jaded with the dating scene and we had talked openly and honestly about our expectations.

As, the first lady was working, and I had finished for the day, I invited my 'plan B' to the Embassy do, and pleasant though it was, we felt it better to leave to avoid the 'fawning' of inebriated Brits, Yanks and Irishmen - she was 'my date', after all ... [wink.gif]

This lady was four years younger than I, and a fan of latin dancing - with a figure that showed she was 'dedicated' .. she invited me to stay out all night and go to a club, but she knew I was here to see another lady and that we had plans for tomorrow- which I was now 'regretting', so I did the 'right thing' and declined..

So the next morning, I met the first lady, who was taking me to a lake to swim, with a picnic... I had no expectations of what was to come..

In the taxi, she asked me - if she minded if she was direct!.. "why I couldn't look I her in the eye?".... was the question.... We had been talking during the first few minutes of the date and she had asked me if I planned to see someone else.. I had told her NO... "good", she had said.. "if you had, I would have walked away.. I'm not playing games..".. This had 'unsettled' me..

She asked me what I had done yesterday, and I decided to be honest.. that I hadn't seen a 'spark' from her and she laughed and hugged me.. pointing out that we'd hardly be here, if there wasn't a mutual attraction, and that she appreciated my honesty..

By the time we got to the lake, it was clear that this lady wasn't hiding her feelings any more and I felt embarrassed for the taxi driver !

The lake - the blue lake - was beautiful and it was a HOT day ( 32 C ) in so many ways..


http://petrosjotter.blogspot.com/2006/0 ... -lake.html

http://www.kyivpost.com/news/guide/gene ... 129/print/

I have returned, since, and found it has been commercialised -with fenced off areas - for 'superior' relaxation !..and prices to match!


I ended up with two lovely ladies wishing to spend time with me, and I vowed I'd NEVER, EVER do a WMVM trip, again.. my head was swimming with conflicting emotions.. I returned to Cyprus - having had a great time, but trying to focus on work and forcing myself to remember what I was looking for..

One lady was dedicated to her career and t'other wouldn't consider leaving UA for 4 years..

I returned to UA to meet the first lady, the second lady and I resolved to keep in contact, but we resolved that we had no serious future at that time -but if I would consider living in UA...


During my second visit, the first lady, who owned two apartments, and rented the second one out, proposed that I come to live in Kyiv, too ! That my poor Russian - and two words of Ukrainian would be no barrier if I went into property sales.

I simply couldn't see myself living in Kyiv, but I liked the lady... until we went out one night with some of her biz associates - he was keen to introduce me to them to show me how life in Kyiv could suit me, and I saw her light up a cigarette..... 'interesting' for someone who's profile said non-smoker..

We discussed this later, and her response was .. 'I'm a journalist - we all smoke.. ' This was the beginning of the end for me.. as I had been married to a woman who resumed smoking and I tried to live with a Russian speaker in Cyprus - who smoked, and I JUST couldn't do it... [bad.gif]

So...NEXT......!


Lessons learnt: ( for me !)

1/ Stick to one woman at a time

2/ Honesty is the best policy

3/ A passionate women - especially one you thought you fancied, but thought she didn't fancy you - can be 'confusing'

4/ Don't try to date a women who have clearly got commitments - if you are committed in another place..

5/ Research a place before you go to visit - it makes the trip more interesting if you understand the history..


No photos this week... my photos of this time are long gone 'history'


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 Post subject: Re: Moby - how I got 'here'
Post Number:#7  PostPosted: 28 Aug 2010 12:29 
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msmobyru wrote:
My 'target' age range was max seven years years younger than myself [ I was 43 ] - preferably the lady had been married and had kids - I have two kids and CAN'T have any more...I am a 'Jaffa' - seedless - having had a vasectomy, at 41 - my choice.


Just for the record because I know Moby likes accuracy.

After the snip you still have the same amount of fishes as you did before, they just don't have the freedom they once did.

You CAN have more children afterwards, I've had 4.

Sorry to interrupt Moby, but I know you will be even more proud of me now. [hi.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: Moby - how I got 'here'
Post Number:#8  PostPosted: 28 Aug 2010 13:24 
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Hi Vinny,
you got my attention - how successful would any re-stocking of my 51 yr old 'lake' likely to be !? [confused.gif]


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 Post subject: Re: Moby - how I got 'here'
Post Number:#9  PostPosted: 28 Aug 2010 14:57 
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msmobyru wrote:
Hi Vinny,
you got my attention - how successful would any re-stocking of my 51 yr old 'lake' likely to be !? [confused.gif] .


Are you being serious?

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 Post subject: Re: Moby - how I got 'here'
Post Number:#10  PostPosted: 28 Aug 2010 18:33 
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Vinnvinny wrote:

Are you being serious?


Depends on your answer .. [confused.gif]

I'd always assumed that I'd left it too long and after nearly 10 years ....


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