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 Post subject: The stages of Culture Shock and Returning Home...
Post Number:#1  PostPosted: 06 Jan 2011 19:04 
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Mila has been here in Canada for almost 2 years now...March 1st is the anniversary. It's been a busy time, she has been doing school, working, Kirill is adusted and liking school. A few things caused some unhappiness along the way...mostly adjusting to English and new and different things here or feeling left out a bit being new. Just some Culture Shock stuff. Worked through it no problem.

Kirill went back for the summer last year...and came back happy to be home in Canada and even voicing how he didn't really want to go back to Russia again.

Mila hasn't been back yet, and says she really doesn't want to go back even. From what I have read about culture shock and all the cycles people go through in it many mention going back home to see things in a different light is important to establishing your new home as "home". Anyone have any experience or info in this matter?


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 Post subject: Re: The stages of Culture Shock and Returning Home...
Post Number:#2  PostPosted: 06 Jan 2011 19:20 
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Froid

Take a look at this article if you haven't read it yet.

http://russianworldforums.com/viewtopic ... ural+shock

Going back after two years of marriage to Russia, I noticed my wife started talking with a different tone and few times surprised me by saying:

" I feel sorry for the people here.... and I don't think I can live and be happy in Russia, if I ever had to come back"!

As time goes by and in 6 months time, itwill be our 3 year anniversary, I have noticed a complete change in her attitudes. Now she openly criticise things from life over there, and I expect next time she goes over, alone this time, she will noticed the difference .... and that Home is here and not there.

She told me, when her mother die, she will sell the house as there is nothing for her there any more. She has a friend in France, whom we visited last April.....she told me.... she is never going back to live in Russia, whatever happens in her life. Another one in USA.....has never been back for the past 5 years and despite she has a mother there....told my wife, she is not going back!.

The cultural shock, I think starts getting easier after 2 years, when they are well settled, have learned to speak the language well, probably got a job, like my wife Hanna, and life has become normal and routine.

In our case we have travelled more in Europe than back in Rodina.

my 2 cents.

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 Post subject: Re: The stages of Culture Shock and Returning Home...
Post Number:#3  PostPosted: 06 Jan 2011 20:56 
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If it wasn't for my MIL I don't thnk my wife would ever go back to Russia. As it is, we bring the MIL one year and my wife goes back the next. The last time she stayed for 60 days since she needed to renew her passport and was afraid of a delay. She was climbing the walls the last few weeks. This summer will the the year for my wife to make her second trip back. 30 days this time.

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 Post subject: Re: The stages of Culture Shock and Returning Home...
Post Number:#4  PostPosted: 07 Jan 2011 15:56 
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Yeah we have read similar articles like that one already.

Mila is already talking that way. She just doesn't want to go back there at all. Says there is nothing there for her and she just wants her family to visit Canada instead. Her parents are worried about Russia's future and have been voicing their concerns as well. They don't talk about leaving themselves but have been asking Mila about getting her sister to Canada somehow because they worry for her. Interesting times it seems.


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 Post subject: Re: The stages of Culture Shock and Returning Home...
Post Number:#5  PostPosted: 07 Jan 2011 16:01 
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When us gypsies find a home we will let you know. [lol.gif]

Our home is where our family lives, anything else is a matter of time and place.

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 Post subject: Re: The stages of Culture Shock and Returning Home...
Post Number:#6  PostPosted: 07 Jan 2011 17:14 
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Shadow wrote:
Our home is where our family lives, anything else is a matter of time and place.


Absolutely....... [clap.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: The stages of Culture Shock and Returning Home...
Post Number:#7  PostPosted: 07 Jan 2011 19:40 
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Hi Froid,

good to see you posting ;)

Veta went back for 5 weeks in the summer and I was DREADING her return...

would she prefer to be in Russia over the UK..?

Thankfully, then , NO.

Her son is here and is TOTALLY enamoured with the UK ... he doesn't feel the need to go back and has a UK g/f and has the choice of good UNis to go to.

Veta's Grandma in now in her nineties and 'losing it' and her Mum was VERY ill in the summer- and had to have an op - which has made things better - for now.


We know there will be a time when her G'ma will be too much for Mum and we have agreed she will need to help out .. There's no way G'ma could come to the UK - though I wouldn't mind... but I think 3 generations of women living under one roof might be 'interesting'

Veta keeps in contact with her friends via Odnoklasniki and we have Ru TV and a phone package to allow her to call landlines for nought... ( amazing how many Russians STILL don't trust SKYPE ! )

I reckon things would be easier for her if she could get a decent job.... for now she is doing a Management course and has been helping a neighbour with her biz... but it isn't as 'satisfying' as she'd like..


She STILL feels her English holds her back.. it has really come on in three years and she has exceeded UK 16 yr old English written and oral level qualifications in Eng and Maths from virtually zero.

Does she get home sick? Yup... But normally a trip to TK Maxx or a concert / meet up with other FSU folk helps.

I wish there was an easier answer to the G'ma 'dilemma' .. She is a WONDERFUL lady - and so FAR away....

May be I'll end up in Ru for a while ?


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 Post subject: Re: The stages of Culture Shock and Returning Home...
Post Number:#8  PostPosted: 08 Jan 2011 01:18 
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froid wrote:
Yeah we have read similar articles like that one already.

Her parents are worried about Russia's future and have been voicing their concerns as well. They don't talk about leaving themselves but have been asking Mila about getting her sister to Canada somehow because they worry for her.


Just a random thought, why not get her bio up on a GTA dating site? Then apply for another visa for her to visit you guys again ,and she can do a reversal of the western guys flightpath. I know you're thinking, 'why didn't I think of that? Well you can buy me a beer next time. [drinks.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: The stages of Culture Shock and Returning Home...
Post Number:#9  PostPosted: 08 Jan 2011 22:01 
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Shadow wrote:
When us gypsies find a home we will let you know. [lol.gif]

Our home is where our family lives, anything else is a matter of time and place.


Yes, and I have two homes one in Russia and another in the US. I miss my relatives and friends who are also like relatives to me. Though we chat very often and can see each other on Skype, I want to hug and kiss them so much. Every time they tell me that they love and miss me too and wait for me.


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 Post subject: Re: The stages of Culture Shock and Returning Home...
Post Number:#10  PostPosted: 09 Jan 2011 04:28 
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Olga wrote:
Shadow wrote:
When us gypsies find a home we will let you know. [lol.gif]

Our home is where our family lives, anything else is a matter of time and place.


Yes, and I have two homes one in Russia and another in the US. I miss my relatives and friends who are also like relatives to me. Though we chat very often and can see each other on Skype, I want to hug and kiss them so much. Every time they tell me that they love and miss me too and wait for me.

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Shadow, I know how you feel. [thumbs.gif]
In my case though it is me that is the wanderer.

Olga,
Hug and kiss your friends and relatives? I thought that showing emotion was illegal in Russia [lol.gif] .

Image
Another useful thread about the topic Adapting to her new living enviroment and of course the very comprehensive thread that Yannis referred to on the second post on this thread.

As for Russians not trusting Skype, has anybody ever considered that many Russians still use "dial-up" internet and that Skype is not very compatible with slow internet connections (dial-up).

I myself have (at times) problems using Skype when I am in my Russian home even though I have a (Russian standard) fast broadband connection.

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