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 Post subject: Are you embarrassed by the way you met your partner?
Post Number:#1  PostPosted: 29 Jun 2011 11:08 
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Are you embarrassed by the way you met your partner?

My wife and I, are not embarrassed by the way we met - through the internet, on a dating site. It's something we hardly talk about or asked by people nowadays.

I don’t have a problem with stereo-typical images to put up with, anymore but put it this way - if I didn't know anything about this 'process' and a friend told me he'd met a girl in FSU, through the internet, had fallen in love and desired to spend his life with her - I'd be VERY sceptical. Judging by the image presented by the media, I'd consider my friend a desperate fool.

My wife also had stereo-typical images to put up with. In FSU, a girl seeking a foreign partner through the internet or an agency is seen as desperate to leave her country, desperate for a better life and desperate for a foreign passport - all of which are frowned upon. It's considered she marries ONLY for money and to get out of the country. It's never considered that such a woman might truly love the man!

Can any of you guys relate to this?

Did you make up any stories as to how you met or do you openly admit ''we met on the internet / we met through an agency''?

Surely, people must ask (at home, on holiday and in FSU) ''how did you two meet?''.

What do you tell them?


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 Post subject: Re: Are you embarrassed by the way you met your partner?
Post Number:#2  PostPosted: 29 Jun 2011 12:34 
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Sometimes i'm just blunt and say i bought her and got a good deal in the January sales, normally they are too embarrassed or shocked to ask more. Although i would never mention this too my wife, she would be very offended and not understand my little joke.

All my associates now that i spend all my life in and out of airports and different countrys so just presume that i met my now wife while working abroad.

I tell some people the truth and the people who i know that gossip i just tell them complete lies, the truth is i had travelled to every country in Europe many times and had a big fascination for Eastern Europe and in particular Russia, i met my wife through a site and started communicating which gave me a very good reason to visit Russia.

Yes i know there is a stigma attached but more so with Thai girls i think, but really whats the difference to going down the pub to find girls, most men specifically go looking for girls wether it be in a club, on holiday or on the internet. To me the internet saves a lot of time and think its a good way to meet people, its becoming more and more acceptable, almost everybody communicates this way to rekindle friendships, maintain friendships or meet new people.

My wife is very open with people when they ask how we met, its not a problem for her and she openly says that she did not want another Russian Husband as they all start drinking too much.


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 Post subject: Re: Are you embarrassed by the way you met your partner?
Post Number:#3  PostPosted: 29 Jun 2011 18:46 
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It doesn't bother me any. I usually tell them we met through the internet rather than by using a MOB. I don't see it as any different that someone meeting by Match.com or eHarmony. Of course most of the people I am really close to knew I was searching and when I came back from the trips I shared some photos with them.

I am in a Monday night bowling league and photos from some of my trips made the rounds there.

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 Post subject: Re: Are you embarrassed by the way you met your partner?
Post Number:#4  PostPosted: 29 Jun 2011 19:46 
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Considering that I did not meet my partner on an online site but I meet her instead in a bar in Russia I kinda guess that my participation in this discussion is not too relevant.

Relevant though to this discussion is that I know quite a few couples that have meet on the internet and I am not talking only about couples that started a relationship while living a few thousand miles from each other, in fact one of my real friends meet his wife on the internet.

OH, by the way, she is a Russian and he is also a Russian.

The point that I am trying to make is, does it matter how two people meet?
My answer is, of course not.

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 Post subject: Re: Are you embarrassed by the way you met your partner?
Post Number:#5  PostPosted: 30 Jun 2011 07:13 
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To be honest I am not the shy type of person and I don't give a shite what anybody thinks about the way I met my wife.

When I was asked I always told them via the internet and never had any comments ......
Maybe people knowing my big mouth.... kept their thoughts to themselves. [biggrin.gif]

My family and sons...... know all about it and never bothered to ask anything as also my ex-wife who made her feel very welcome when they met! They all accepted my wife without hesitation and made her feel comfortable, especially my young son, her favorite [thumbs.gif]

About her side... to be honest I don't know! All her friends and family had no problem on the way we met!

So who cares what other people think?

We don't!

[drinks.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: Are you embarrassed by the way you met your partner?
Post Number:#6  PostPosted: 05 Jul 2011 01:23 
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Like Turbo said, it's no different than meeting on a local dating site like match.com. In the case of my Fiancee, she was not on an outward facing website and instead had her profile on mamba.ru, it just so happens that the best prospect she met lived on the other side of the ocean. [wink.gif]

Do people attach a stigma to the fact that she will be a foreign bride, yes, does it bother me, NO.


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 Post subject: Re: Are you embarrassed by the way you met your partner?
Post Number:#7  PostPosted: 05 Jul 2011 07:27 
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Cheesy, welcome back, Image

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The truth of the matter (at least in my opinion) is that it does not matter how you meet your woman, if she is not a home grown "girl next door" for many people she will always be as you call it a foreign bride , I usually use a more drastic term but I will leave it out for now.

With regards to your thoughts.
wicheese wrote:
Do people attach a stigma to the fact that she will be a foreign bride, yes, does it bother me, NO.
They are a very good echo of the way that I think and I will hazard a guess and say that I would think that most people in similar situations would agree with you.

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 Post subject: Re: Are you embarrassed by the way you met your partner?
Post Number:#8  PostPosted: 05 Jul 2011 09:49 
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Cheesy

Hello and [welcomeback.gif]

For some of us it doesn't matter which way and how we met our other half. What matters is our relationship and how life is together.

My family, friends and anybody else who asked the question, "How you two met" got the same answer......via a dating site on the internet!

No I have not seen a resentment towards us or my Russian wife here, maybe people don't care any more neither here in the UK is a "stigma" (maybe is in the USA) because the UK is a multicultural society and they are more used to it.

What I noticed in Russia is the disdain and sheer rudeness that Russian women and men (total strangers in some kind of public position) have exhibited towards my wife, when they found out that she was going out or married a foreign man!

It is my view, that is just petty jealousy and nothing more, because she found a western man to escape of the difficult economical life in Russia.

Does it bothers me?

Yes it does because it offends and upsets my wife and never missed the chance to open my mouth and tell them in uncertain terms what I think about their behaviour. My wife is very wary of my big mouth and many times avoid telling me about their bad behaviour..... but I keep my eyes open all the time and you would have had a good laugh watching my spat with the ignorant Ba....d in the OVIR office last time we visited Russia. [lol3.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: Are you embarrassed by the way you met your partner?
Post Number:#9  PostPosted: 05 Jul 2011 18:09 
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I did not realize I had left, but thanks for the welcome.

Now when it comes to other peoples viewpoint, it's not always as open as most people are pretty polite. But, you get a sense of what they are thinking when you mention your fiancee is Russian and the first thing they tell you is about the one relationship they heard of third hand about a abusive man and his gold digging wife (it's happened more than once) or you have a friends lady tell you that your girlfriend is spending time at the gym talking to other men (because she might be looking to upgrade), it does not matter that you were told about these conversations already or that the man might be 30 years older and married, or you hear second hand that someone was making jokes about it.

Anyways, if you have a Foreign wife from a less successful country, there will be a certain segment of the population who think you're either a loser with unrealistic expectations for having to find someone overseas or the person you found is just a gold digger looking for a better passport (we all know enough real life examples exist to support these viewpoints). So if one will be bothered by such thoughts, then just stay home because with many things positive, you will have some non-positive side effects.


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 Post subject: Re: Are you embarrassed by the way you met your partner?
Post Number:#10  PostPosted: 05 Jul 2011 19:27 
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wicheese wrote:
I did not realize I had left, but thanks for the welcome.


Nobody said you had left..... [wink.gif]

But when you have been away for sometime and then you meet your friends, don't they say to you welcome back?

[drinks.gif]

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