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 Post subject: Help for a newbie
Post Number:#1  PostPosted: 26 Jun 2015 11:24 
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Hello my name is mike, I'm new to online dating especially with respect to Russian women. I feel a little daunted by the whole thing but I will share my story and hopefully someone will have some useful advice for me. I came across this forum whilst searching for advice and there seemed some valuable information here.thankyou
my story starts with the separation from my wife. We were married 21 years but knew early into the marriage we were not compatible, but the advent of kids meant we stayed together for them. Anyway I digress.
I enrolled in a dating site , match dating. I found a profile that seemed to stand out, but it had no picture. I emailed the girl and attached some photos of me. She emailed back with some of her and she was beautiful. We emailed each other daily after that but after 4 days she said she had a confession to make. She had used a bogus email to set up the dating profile because she was Russian. I was dubious but yet I felt she was legitimate. She told me her name adress phone number. She is a teacher in Volodarsk near, Nizhye Novgorad. I tried calling by phone but couldn't get through. She later found out that her phone contract would only allow national calls, so that was why I was not able to make the call. She said she would call me but the cost worried her. I believe she has small salary and has a apartment to fund herself that she could be telling the truth. I ordered some flowers but the florist was unable to reach her either and am still looking into this though I have aeked for a photo to be taken of her with the flowers when they deliver. I am currently looking into a firm that can do background checks. The conversation just recently turned to asking for money to purchase air fares and visa and passport costs. I believe her that she is not comfortable asking for the money, but just need some good advice really. The reason I cannot visit her I as I was prepared to do is because of a Russian tradition that states the girl must seek the approval of my parents or relatives before I can see her in her home . Can someone help with some advice please.


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 Post subject: Re: Help for a newbie
Post Number:#2  PostPosted: 26 Jun 2015 12:32 
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Hello Mike

and [welcome1.gif] to the board.

Before I go any further.......DO NOT SEND ANY MONEY.

To me reading your message she or he is a scammer.

Now I am underling certain info from your message that give her game away.

"I found a profile that seemed to stand out, but it had no picture. I emailed the girl and attached some photos of me. She emailed back with some of her and she was beautiful.

Reply: No photo ... and then very beautiful......of course they all are! [veryhappy.gif]

We emailed each other daily after that but after 4 days she said she had a confession to make. She had used a bogus email to set up the dating profile because she was Russian. I was dubious but yet I felt she was legitimate. She told me her name adress phone number. She is a teacher in Volodarsk near, Nizhye Novgorad. I tried calling by phone but couldn't get through. She later found out that her phone contract would only allow national calls, so that was why I was not able to make the call.

Reply: Rubish..........she or probably HIM, Boris, Ivan or sergey...... lying big time. [surprised.gif]

She said she would call me but the cost worried her. I believe she has small salary and has a apartment to fund herself that she could be telling the truth. [b]I ordered some flowers but the florist was unable to reach her either and am still looking into this though I have aeked for a photo to be taken of her with the flowers when they deliver. [/b]

Reply: Run forest run.

I am currently looking into a firm that can do background checks.

R: Don't waste your money.... save then untill you find an honest one for presents.

The conversation just recently turned to asking for money to purchase air fares and visa and passport costs. I believe her that she is not comfortable asking for the money, but just need some good advice really. The reason I cannot visit her I as I was prepared to do is because of a Russian tradition that states the girl must seek the approval of my parents or relatives before I can see her in her home . Can someone help with some advice please.


More end more rubbish and lies..... she/he is a scammer. [hrider.gif]

May I suggest you read the posts on the scammers section so you can educate your self.

When you do that and need more help..... do not hesitate to ask.

Before you get disappointed become wise.....

Russia is full of beautiful and honest women, who are looking to find a man,,,, for the same reasons as you.

I am married to a Russian woman... after 7 years and going.....

Take a look at this section.

viewforum.php?f=8

Plenty to read and learn there.

Yannis

PS: Wants to see my story......visit: viewtopic.php?f=13&t=13

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 Post subject: Re: Help for a newbie
Post Number:#3  PostPosted: 27 Jun 2015 09:26 
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Thanks wiz for your reply. I have not sent any money although perhaps she or the scammer may get suspicious why I am stalling for time. Now more than ever I feel confused and maybe a complete plonka.
one point I would like to clarify is that the pictures I have received have not got more explicit in anyway, she always dresses modestly. Plus she has sent photos of her as a little girl and some of her about12 or 13 years of age. I have pictures of her with her mother and father. Can this be the work of a scammer still.?

I have kept all her emails if you are interested in reading them?

The other thing I wanted to say was that before I knew about scammers I offered to send money for a computer because I did not want her to get in trouble using the school's computer. Surely if a scammer had been involved they would have taken this money readily with ease. Instead she or he went to great lengths to dissuade me from sendin money or sending a laptop for her.


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 Post subject: Re: Help for a newbie
Post Number:#4  PostPosted: 27 Jun 2015 11:46 
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Hi Mike

If you have read the scammers section... you would realise that at the start of the game...the scammer does not send explicit photos and keep them for later ....when you are hooked and have shown interest.

Have you Googled the email, part of her letters.....several parts to make sure these letters are not similar to other scammers.

Have you try to trace the email and who and from when has been send?

Either they have missed your offer to help buying a computer or to avoid telling you that she/he has not internet connection ... and wait for the later offer to pay for visa, tickets etc......and that is the time for the sexy photos........

Keep reading and if you wish post her letters, I will try to help.

Wiz

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 Post subject: Re: Help for a newbie
Post Number:#5  PostPosted: 04 Jul 2015 23:00 
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Mike, there are a lot of beautiful and wonderful Russian women who would like to find a good man like you. Unfortunately the one you found is not real. Most any Russian woman you meet on "Match" is going to be a scammer. There are good ways to meet Russian women and Match is not one of them. I would rate the chance of her being real at about 1 in 10,000.

Post the info and I am sure Wiz and some of the rest of us can give you more info.

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 Post subject: Re: Help for a newbie
Post Number:#6  PostPosted: 14 Jul 2015 10:23 
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Hi guys, sorry it's been a couple of weeks ago you all gave me your advice and I haven't been back in touch to say thanks. I'm still not sure about the lady in question. And no I still have not sent any money.

I said to her it would have to wait until after a family wedding in Italy, and she was remarkably calm and not demanding it be done now, then she wrote and told me that it was her school vacation and she being a teacher had from 28/06/15 till 20/07/15 off work. She told me she would not be able to write because she was going home to her parents and there was no Internet connection. It sounds like they live in some small village, so it probably is true. Even though she knew she was going to be absent she never insisted a payment be made. I would have imagined a scammer to be on my case to get things done. Also I had a look at the letter where I offered financial help for a computer, and there was definitely no misunderstanding on either part, she was quite insistent that I should not buy one or send money directly for one. These factors make me unsure that she is a scammer. Maybe you can give me some more advice. Thanks, Mike


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 Post subject: Re: Help for a newbie
Post Number:#7  PostPosted: 21 Jul 2015 00:17 
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Hi Mike

If she is a teacher then she will have a good enough salary to get by on and be able to afford internet , only gypsies live in real poverty these days, she should have an internet phone , even most kids do there these days , internet access is everywhere in Russsia , even in remote villages, it isn't the 3rd world that many think !! So my point is that she should be able to freely chat by Skype, whatsapp, Facebook , Viber , FaceTime etc etc for free.

You can then see if she is real or not, don't be fooled by the beauty, they all know their value if they have good looks and the better they look the more expensive they are!!

Be warned, Russian women expect a lot, nothing for free!! If she does not speak basic to good English then my advice is walk away, it's unlikely to work, there can be too many misunderstandings when you have a relationship between a Russian and western person, very different mind sets especially if from a provincial area. Also you must consider the cost of a relationship with somebody so far away who has no money to travel!! You will spend a fortune on going there and will have so many limitations because of visa's.

If you want a relationship with a Russian Ι would recommend looking for ladies near to St Petersburg or Moscow, easier for travel, they understand western world better and most likely have a good command of English. I speak from experience, I have the T-shirt, if you really want a lady from eastern block then think about a visa free country, it will be a lot less hassle , Romania, Bulgaria or Ukraine.

Travelling to Russia is a bitch and so bloody expensive, I have done it for 10 years, fortunately I can cover a lot of my expenses through work, honestly it's not worth it , there is nothing special about Russian women, don't believe the hype, same shit just a different place.

Different story if you meet one by chance, but I don't recommend searching on dating sites for Russians, and if your still determined after my advice to go down this path then I recommend you learn Russian, its bloody hard, but it's important to have some basics.

Удачи !! (good luck) ... You will need a lot of that !!


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 Post subject: Re: Help for a newbie
Post Number:#8  PostPosted: 21 Jul 2015 12:07 
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I would agree that the internet is everywhere in Russia these days but I think even in the USA there are many older people who don't use the internet and if she is visiting her parents for a few weeks not being able to communicate would not concern me that much if I were in your shoes.

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 Post subject: Re: Help for a newbie
Post Number:#9  PostPosted: 22 Jul 2015 18:31 
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Julian wrote:
Hi Mike

If she is a teacher then she will have a good enough salary to get by on and be able to afford internet , only gypsies live in real poverty these days, she should have an internet phone , even most kids do there these days , internet access is everywhere in Russsia , even in remote villages, it isn't the 3rd world that many think !! So my point is that she should be able to freely chat by Skype, whatsapp, Facebook , Viber , FaceTime etc etc for free.

You can then see if she is real or not, don't be fooled by the beauty, they all know their value if they have good looks and the better they look the more expensive they are!!

Be warned, Russian women expect a lot, nothing for free!! If she does not speak basic to good English then my advice is walk away, it's unlikely to work, there can be too many misunderstandings when you have a relationship between a Russian and western person, very different mind sets especially if from a provincial area. Also you must consider the cost of a relationship with somebody so far away who has no money to travel!! You will spend a fortune on going there and will have so many limitations because of visa's.

If you want a relationship with a Russian Ι would recommend looking for ladies near to St Petersburg or Moscow, easier for travel, they understand western world better and most likely have a good command of English. I speak from experience, I have the T-shirt, if you really want a lady from eastern block then think about a visa free country, it will be a lot less hassle , Romania, Bulgaria or Ukraine.

Travelling to Russia is a bitch and so bloody expensive, I have done it for 10 years, fortunately I can cover a lot of my expenses through work, honestly it's not worth it , there is nothing special about Russian women, don't believe the hype, same shit just a different place.

Different story if you meet one by chance, but I don't recommend searching on dating sites for Russians, and if your still determined after my advice to go down this path then I recommend you learn Russian, its bloody hard, but it's important to have some basics.

Удачи !! (good luck) ... You will need a lot of that !!

Julian

Excellent advice and save me the effort to write one more myself as I agree with everything you said.

[excellent.gif]

Mike, have you consider looking for a Russian woman nearer to home......there are several Russian papers in the UK and if I am not wrong.... also some sites.

PS: Julian, where on the world are you now?

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 Post subject: Re: Help for a newbie
Post Number:#10  PostPosted: 25 Jul 2015 22:24 
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Wiz hi , still in UK , although I'm frequently in my favourite city of St Petersburg , would live there if I could find a job and get a residents visa


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