I will never claim that I know everything about relationships and women but I have had some experiences in life and I can only blame my self for a lot of things and mistakes that I have made in the past! I have been around these boards for a few years and visited Ukraine and Russia a few times and have met few of them so I will not sugar coat my experiences with them.

Most Russian women are slim, very attractive, stubborn, possessive, jealous, highly opinionated and outspoken. They know all and never answer a straight question with a simple yes or no but reply with another question. They avoid admitting mistakes or take responsibility for their actions and will always transfer this responsibility to you. They never say please and thank you until you train them and of course very rarely apologise. They are frugal with money and house proud.

Despite their assimilation in our Western cultures and norms, most if not all try to exert total control in a man’s contact with other people and persons that he can talk, and females are excluded from your circle of friends, no matter of their status Platonic or otherwise.

I have never experienced such control in my life with all my previous relationships, until I started a relationship with a Russian woman. I have been very happy with my ex-wife and ex-partner (both British) regarding this matter and found very difficult to accept such excessive control egging to suffocation.

No I don't talk about total freedom but I personally think that such huge control is not a good element in any relationship from wherever the woman comes from. I have heard of many men here in the UK married to FSU women, the same complain and that they are very unhappy about it. One thing to remember is that they will always go to your past history and remind you frequently and will never let you forget any mistakes you have made in the past!

Whenever I tried to find common ground and make common decisions to whom we can talk, very soon I found the ground shifting again and the direction of Total control re-appearing. I should have trusted my instinct more and listen to the advice of other people, had the courage to bail when that instinct told me it was time to exit stage. What grief I could have saved!

I don't think it can be stated strong enough that if something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't and you shouldn't spend any time, whatsoever, trying to figure out the what, why or how of the situation and how to make it work and hope to find happiness.

Don't allow yourself to start making excuses for a Russian Woman's poor and unreasonable behaviour by rationalizing to yourself (or with other guys) that such behaviour occurred because of "different culture" or "different background" or "maybe there was a language issue."

Those who have made this venture into the wilds of an unknown such as international courtship have all been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I was advised, many times, but didn’t listen, from people who have been trough this endeavour that the best course of action is to just move on.

Don't get me wrong because there are many Russian women diamonds out there but you have to dig hard and deep to find one.

I have found my rough Russian Diamond and I am happily married to her!

Yes i agree with much of what you write Yannis, too many people live in a fantasy world, think the grass is greener over the soviet border and are looking through rose tinted glasses. Russian women are just a little different and they also come in all shapes and sizes with different attitudes just like in the west, its just a matter of finding one that floats your boat, if its somebody's personal intention to only have a Russian wife then good luck trying to find one, but i understand allot of people go there thinking it will be an easy catch !!!! that these girls are desperate to leave, i have yet to meet any Russian desperate to leave their mother land and that believe life in the west is better. These same thinkers also believe they will be able to get a wife 10 times better than back home , really ???, if so i guarantee you will be buying her one way or another. But i would also think about having a wife from many European country's and any of those in the EU would be much easier to visit and develop a relationship with.


In reality you can get a very good women, with some interesting cultural instincts, she is likely to be well educated, smart, can cook fantastic, maybe beautifull, but this woman knows she has all these assets and will be very demanding as i know from my wife and many Russian friends wives. I am happy with my choice of a Russian wife, but would i do it again ??? mmmmmmmmm !! no, why because of all the problems and stress (mostly Visa hassles),the biggest hurdle (apart from shear expense) is communication, if you follow this path then either you should speak Russian or your RGF speak English then there are no misunderstandings and problems can be quickly solved, because there will be allot of problems to deal with especially cultural differences and i am very experienced having lived and worked all over Europe for the last 20 years and still i find Russian culture or life very strange at times. My Russian language is quite small and building, and my wifes English the same so our relationship is constantly being tested and there is allot of confusion and misunderstanding, but one good thing is that is very hard to have a explosive argument, sorry my dear i do not understand!! Я непонимаю !!! still works after 3+ years.

To my wife :- Ты ! И радость моя, и моя беда !!

Wiz, Julian.
AGREED!!

Gary.

but now it's time for you to stop flirting Mel and keep your self busy in your typewriter... error computer and start writing those juicy travel reports.

The more we have here of these reports the better picture we can offer to all those new commers and visitors on the board.

I think you enjoy too much the flirt and the champain style with Mel!

Brianw

In connection with our early morning conversation regarding looking to find a Russian woman, I hope you have read this thread.

I would also suggest your read also other threads and get a more clear experience of what is waiting you in this endeavour.

After you have accumulated enough experience then go for it and don't sit around as it will never happen for you.

Good luck!

Wiz,
You are confusing me with Gary.....
It must be your age.......

Mel

It is not the 1st of April yet... neither Easter too .....but looks like you have started celebrating already!

I was talking to Gary, asking him to stop flirting with you on Real Russia and start writing his travel report and post it here!

Now that I have cleared your confusion...... I hope you understand your mistake, I must say that I am very jealouse of you having access to the nice Russian Champanski!

In a couple month, I will be there so I will have plenty of the stuff in the photo......in our Russian house but Perm is a bit far to come to join you and have fun with you!

Married now for over two years and while my wife is at work, I revisited this post and start thinking about my original comments and also those of Julian and came to the conclusion that I was not far off in my original comments.

As my experience, living with a Russian woman, still advances, I now realise that the road to finding happiness in a relationship with a Russian woman is very hard and you have to be a very strong character to overcome all the cultural and other difficulties strewn on your way. I don't think men with a weak character can last the course and you have to have strong beliefs and total commitment in your marriage to make it work. Everyday is a learning process and you have to adjust your ways accordingly to find an equilibrium and to be successful in your marriage.

I am sure somebody will ask me, does it have to be that difficult, having a happy marriage?

Of course it's more preferable and a condition that you two get to know each other very well and both are committed to make your marriage work and not run away in the first difficulty you come across! Patience. tolerance and love will overcome most if not all the difficulties you encounter in your marriage life.

No the road to happiness in any relationship is not full of roses.....and it is down to you both, how much you want this relationship to succeed.

When I first started searching for a Russian/Ukrainian woman, I knew it was going to be hard but I was always determined to succeed in my endeavour.

So I came to the same conclusion like before, that I will have to do what ever it takes to make it happen because finding a woman to marry her, it is not a short time fun but a long life experience!

So those of you married to a Russian woman for sometime, what are your thoughts today?

Having come by accident on this page, I have to say, that not many things have changed and one of them is that my wife, now, is fluent in English, works hard but still holds most of the old characteristics. During this period we have travelled extensively abroad, mostly to European destinations, 29 times and always had a great time.

Today we have more better understanding conversations and any tensions or arguments we may have are easily resolved because of my attitude that she has a choice.

"The door is open and she can always jump ship".... but I don't see her taking that decision.

We know each other very well and what makes the other person tick!

At my old age, I have come to the conclusion that "better the devil you know than ..." and I expect the same applies for her too.

The door is always open and it is up to her to make that choice!

As Julian said: Ты ! И радость моя, и моя беда!