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 Post subject: The benefit of forums.
Post Number:#1  PostPosted: 02 Apr 2011 15:00 
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The benefit of forums.

As I see it there are two main reason for someone to register on a forum like this one and quite a few others
The two main reasons (in my opinion) are either to share information or to acquire information from those that have more experience.

Now here I am speaking from a knowledgeable situation.

The situation was that a member of this forum wanted to be able to live with his wife and because his circumstances did not fit neatly in a pigeon hole that most immigration authorities seem to demand this member was in a dilemma.

Once his dilemma became known a few of the members of this forum pulled out all the stops to help this member and they provided to him and to his wife very valuable information.

They are now living together thanks to the help provided.

Those that provided the help know who they are.

I am purposefully being a bit vague and that is because it is not my story that I am telling.

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 Post subject: Re: The benefit of forums.
Post Number:#2  PostPosted: 02 Apr 2011 16:01 
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I think this could be an interesting topic and basically I agree with you that for the majority of the forum participants it is one of those two reasons. I think for many of us, the reasons we participate may change over time. When I first found forums I thought I was at the tail end of my search. I was just starting a K-1 with my first fiancee and wanted to learn from the experiences of others how to succeed with bringing a women from Russia. For the first year I read every single post on that forum and tried to learn everything I could that might make my venture successful. Still it wasn't.

I did learn a lot from reading all those posts and I had a much better course of actions when I resumed my search. I do think my participation of forums was a major reason for that.

I think my motivations changed after to helping others. Now some of my information is getting dated and some still seems valid but I still like to help.

I think there are also social elements. I have made some good friends. Some I have met, some I have talked to on the phone and some I have never met. Many have come and gone. Still I have something in common with the ones I have met and made friends with, our search in the FSU and the processes we have gone through.

I do think there are a small minority who have other reasons for participation. Some can't beat their wives so here they can beat up on someone with no consequences. Basically for a very, very small minority it is an outlet for their bullying nature. When their marriages fail they seem to disappear.

I think there are a few who are here to feed their ego. Who want to display the success they have had in acquiring arm candy to ride with them in their Porche on the way to their mansion. They too, disappear when the wife trades up to a better sponsor.

Sometimes too, I think it can be a bit of a hobby. It can be like watching an interactive soap opera and it is something to help pass the day. It is more interesting than working anyway.

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 Post subject: Re: The benefit of forums.
Post Number:#3  PostPosted: 02 Apr 2011 23:35 
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Turboguy wrote:
I think there are a few who are here to feed their ego. Who want to display the success they have had in acquiring arm candy to ride with them in their Porche on the way to their mansion. They too, disappear when the wife trades up to a better sponsor.


But which is better TG, a wife who may trade up or no wife at all? This is my conundrum and I don't know the answer. [confused.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: The benefit of forums.
Post Number:#4  PostPosted: 03 Apr 2011 07:02 
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Turbo [clap.gif]

Excellent post and I agree with everything you said, having personally encountered all the situations you described. Now of course I am more careful when I answer to any questions and of course will try and give my opinions in a more pragmatic manner, unlike before.
Turboguy wrote:
  1. I do think there are a small minority who have other reasons for participation. Some can't beat their wives so here they can beat up on someone with no consequences. Basically for a very, very small minority it is an outlet for their bullying nature. When their marriages fail they seem to disappear.
  2. I think there are a few who are here to feed their ego. Who want to display the success they have had in acquiring arm candy to ride with them in their Porche on the way to their mansion. They too, disappear when the wife trades up to a better sponsor.
  1. Yes covering or compesating for their own insecurities or various complexes......
  2. We have seen plenty of them around........... showing off!

When I joined BRAMA, a board dedicated to Ukraine, the first board I came across about the FSU it was simply to find out information regarding accommodation in Lviv for my forthcoming trip, back in May 2004. As it happened, a lady with Ukrainian blood in her family but born and raised in the North of the UK, she answered and gave me very good advice.

Later I came across to many other boards, Like, Going to Ukraine, RWG, RWD etc..... and when I started seriously looking for a partner, reading and posting on the board was a great help for me, to find information and also understand a lot of other rthings, like cultural differences etc.

I think posting on any of these boards, with relatively anonymity, you are learning a lot and on the way you avoid many mistakes that pioneers like Turbo have had to learn the hard way.

One good thing is that whatever question you may have and want to ask, there is always somebody who can answer or offer help.

We must not also forget that Rules, laws and regulations constantly change therefore all persons with an interest in International relationships will always find out the latest news!

What I find more interesting, over the years, is reading the travel reports and personal experiences of other people, as you learn a lot by reading them.

Also agree with Turbo that it's funny and interesting also reading and posting on the boards, and for me........ saves me money from not going to the pub! [thumbs.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: The benefit of forums.
Post Number:#5  PostPosted: 03 Apr 2011 07:04 
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Vinnvinny wrote:
Turboguy wrote:
I think there are a few who are here to feed their ego. Who want to display the success they have had in acquiring arm candy to ride with them in their Porche on the way to their mansion. They too, disappear when the wife trades up to a better sponsor.


But which is better TG, a wife who may trade up or no wife at all? This is my conundrum and I don't know the answer. [confused.gif]


It all depends of the kind of product you are looking to find..... [drink-coffee.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: The benefit of forums.
Post Number:#6  PostPosted: 03 Apr 2011 13:23 
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I think the main reason why most men come to the boards is to find information and most of the information of those with experience is pretty standard, even if there is room for debate with things like a persons belief in the "5 date rule" etc. Now once we find the information we need, why do we stick around, either participating or just reading?

For those who continue to participate after they found the initial information they were looking for, I think these might be some of the primary reasons:

1. By participating, we are also asking questions we are curious about and are wondering what others think. Often these questions can't be answered by our close friends as most think we are totally crazy for looking for love overseas.

2. Some want to show off there self-proclaimed expertise and use it as a club to knock down others to make themselves feel better (I'm thinking of one particular poster from Tallinn).

3. It's a time sink that fills a void. After all this is a process takes time and after we find the one we want to be with, we usually stop dating and chasing women locally so we have a lot of time on our hands so why not communicate with others who are going through a similar situation. I think these people are those who are very active for a period of time and then drop off sharply after either their lady arrives or they withdraw from the game.

4. Those who genuinely care about others and want to make the search easier. After all, how many times have we heard about men starting this search and our head hurt because we were seeing them make the same mistakes as ourselves? This type of participant might also want to provide an alternative to the information a newbie is receiving from others as often no one way fits all people.

5. Those who want to encourage others to get into the game or stay in the game. After all, in our normal life I'm sure it's a very small percentage of men who look overseas so why not try to widen the circle. In this group can be those who are selling services and have a vested interest to grow the market.

6. The dreamers or those who dream about finding about someone nice, but will never get on the airplane so these forums are as close as they will get to the real thing. Also, like with any forum there could be people who are projecting an image of themselves they want others to believe.

Now there are more I'm sure I forgot and motivations within each can very, but I'm tired this AM (have yet to run) and it's the best I could come up with.


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 Post subject: Re: The benefit of forums.
Post Number:#7  PostPosted: 03 Apr 2011 14:27 
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Turbo,
I agree with Wiz about the quality of your post.

I hope that everybody is aware that my agreeing with wiz is a very, very rare ocassion here I will have to concede that now and again (like in this instance) he does get it right.

Wiz, well done you managed to get something right Image

I have to admit that I never used a forum to try and find love, my story is quite different.

My story goes along the lines of I meet a lady. I fell for the lady big time.
The fact that I was in Russia at the time was irrelevant to me.
To take this on a different tangent, at one point my lady asked me "Why do want a Russian woman" to which I answered "I don't want a Russian woman, it is you that I want and I do not care if you are Chinese, Mongolian or Russian".

I will also state while my first ever post was a quest for knowledge it was a question about a phonetic dictionary, I will go further and state that I yet have to find a "paper" dictionary that has phonetic Russian but that search (at least for me) is now on the back burner.

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 Post subject: Re: The benefit of forums.
Post Number:#8  PostPosted: 03 Apr 2011 14:41 
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wicheese,

Another excellent post.

You and Turbo between you have summed up quite concisely the various reasons for individuals to continue posting.

I notice that both of you state that there are also negative reasons that individuals log on to form to make a post. I will have to state here that I am very glad that on this forum and on that type of individual does not last too long.

I participate mainly because I do have a fair amount of knowledge concerning International travel and dealing with people from other cultures and like to think that I can help out someone who is struggling to understand the idiosyncrasies of trying to deal with someone who think differently.

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 Post subject: Re: The benefit of forums.
Post Number:#9  PostPosted: 03 Apr 2011 14:55 
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Very good points Cheesy and I agree with all of them.

Your point 3 is particularly very accurate because after we have found the "one" all "mostly" all of us loose interest in local dating and where better spent our free time than the board.

I think also that reading, debating and writing on the board it also expanding our own knowledge and [yes.gif] there are many subjects about this endeavour that we don't like sharing with our close friends, and we prefer to hear the views of other people who are on the same boat!

In my case I do like helping other people with my little knowledge about Russia and Russian women. I happen to be retired now and my wife is working, so I have plenty of free time in my hands to fill but then I am accused by many people that I have no other life...... [very_funny.gif]

I am sure that Turbo gets the same comments too but I do understand him very well. Yes he has to work but from time to time he prefers to visit the boards, instead of playing golf [wink.gif]

One of the things that I will not entertain is getting involved in any debates with Trolls, who never visited Russia or the FSU and still post 1000's of posts and try to teach us who have been there how to "suck eggs"!

Now, I will not talk about those people who come to the board and start attacking other people, like a pack of wolves, because of their frustrations and failures in this adventure and personal life.

Raffi

What you are not telling the other's here is that your now fiancé....... came over and told you off, because you were smoking.... and you were stuck for words....... by looking at her! [hahaha.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: The benefit of forums.
Post Number:#10  PostPosted: 26 May 2011 18:49 
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