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 Post subject: Big lies and broken promises!
Post Number:#1  PostPosted: 29 Feb 2012 17:11 
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Some of us, old members, over the years on these boards have seen many couples having troubles and many were divorced, especially 2008 was one of the worst years, and all because of big lies and broken promises.

In one case he said he would buy a house for them to live in, but he was lying, he couldn’t do it. As it happens he could not even take care of his new family and the young woman had to go out to work in the evening to support the whole family!

On the other case he married a very young woman, promised to have children, lived together for many years and then …….. they divorced!

I will not give out any more details, which will identify these men, because it’s not the purpose of this post.

In my opinion these two guys asked for the trouble they had with their Russian wife’s because they were so needy to show off and impress these ladies so they were dishonest about themselves.

Honesty and complete disclosure of your circumstances, before getting married, it’s not only a noble action on your part but also a good policy if you want to build trust and a loving relationship with your wife!

Relationships do not survive the time without complete trust between the partners.

IMO, we have an obligation to tell the women what our lives are like and what we intend our future lives to be like, if she asks or not. I am not saying to lay out everything on your first trip, but certainly before you marry her and she arrives at your country!

Although, I would agree that none of us has a crystal ball to tell the future, and later circumstances may change and he can’t fulfil what he had promised, that is another matter, but he should make his best effort to explain and educate the woman so she knows what to expect.

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 Post subject: Re: Big lies and broken promises!
Post Number:#2  PostPosted: 01 Mar 2012 18:00 
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First of all, any form of designed deception is a lie.

You wrote about two instances in which men lie and not keep promises to their wives. Sure, you have the instance of the man who did not disclose that probably he had a vasectomy or he couldn’t have children, and the other fellow who promised to buy a house but he could not even take care of her and the family.

Have you ever considered the possibility that women can lie, too?

There are so many women in the world who constantly tell their husbands that they love them, declaring, "You are the love of my life," yet they are having extramarital affairs with other men. Or what about the fiancé abroad who lies to her future husband about the tragic story of how $100 was stolen and she needs more money?


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 Post subject: Re: Big lies and broken promises!
Post Number:#3  PostPosted: 02 Mar 2012 06:38 
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Location: Mainly Sakhalin Island (Russian Far East)
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Two very true statements.
Relationships do not survive the time without complete trust between the partners
and
any form of designed deception is a lie..


In both cases there is no hope of a long term real relationship.

As has been stated none of us have a crystal ball to see into the future and it is a sad fact that at times relationships do break down.

A relationship that has broken down is a sad event but out-with the control of those involved.

A relationship that is based on untruths and deception is doomed from the start.

While it does not matter where those involved originate from, there is (in my view) a big difference when some-one blatantly tells lies to convince another person to "up-sticks" and leave their complete life and culture behind, or if the untruths are told to some-one from the same culture who does not have to make major changes to their life.
Not that I justify either of the situations.

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