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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#21  PostPosted: 23 Feb 2011 05:08 
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Turboguy wrote:
I can't say the same Cheesy but I have had times when things happened on the first date and it didn't leave a bad impresson and other times when it did.
What is the matter with you American's. ?

You meet a woman who is attractive, take a fancy to her and after you have a good first meeting and a good dinner she shows with her body language or indicate in the conversation that she would like some nice desert for afters, enjoy the desert and then......you think she is a slut or easy lay?

You have been talking to her for some time, fly to meet her and take a fancy to her and you think she is a slut because her feelings were mutual and showed you appreciation for your efforts and made you visit more enjoyable...... you think she is a slut?

Aren't you a slut too enjoying the goods and wanted to take her for a test drive?

Gordon Bennet [bad.gif] .... what a bloody hypocrisy..... in America you don't have a one night stand and wait for God to bless you first?

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#22  PostPosted: 23 Feb 2011 05:23 
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Wiz,

No double standard with me and I'm about as American as they get (with 100% German ancestry) as I will never call a lady out based on her desire to enjoy a god given bodily function. [veryhappy.gif]

Also, I pretty much agree 100% when you mentioned that most of the time we are not flying over to meet a total stranger (unless you are on a meet many trip and even then you usually have some prior time getting to know them) as I usually had some months of communication written, spoken, webcam before I met anyone and usually we were doing a lot of talking.

So in theory, a first date is not like a first date at home where you might meet someone for a drink after a brief phone conversation. Plus, I would hope a man would have serious intentions towards the lady if he's on a meet one trip so getting intimate on a first meeting is a lot different than meeting a lady at a pub and then going out back in her SUV (not that anyone would ever do such a thing as that would mean leaving good beer inside [drinks.gif] ).


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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#23  PostPosted: 23 Feb 2011 07:56 
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I always judged ladies on how easy it is to get in her pants. It is different with every date/time/style so there is no basic "5-day" rule for me. Like Turbo, I was also worried that the mailman/gardener etc. would find her equally easy. Its hard to trust a woman like that.

I did date women just for the sex, but then both parties involved understood exactly what/why/how/when and that there would not be a follow up meet. Dating a woman to live together, it should feel natural, but not too fast from the beginning.

On another board, someone said that if nothing happened in the bed first trip, the woman is not interested. I disagree with that. Some women WILL show their interest and still decline bedtime activities. Usually they will allow kissing and maybe a quick feel-up but then draw the line "until next vacation".

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#24  PostPosted: 23 Feb 2011 11:56 
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Apart from some exceptions, like somebody called Pike, the other old hands probably know him, he made clear that he was on sex tours each time he was over there, meeting several, but most of the men that I know, follow the same path and let things progress notmally.

Sometimes when you meet, having communicated with her for days or months and chatted with her nearly every day, the lust feeling is too strong for both of you and you can't keep your hands to your pockets...... so the inevitable takes place and you make use of the shower several times a day. [wink.gif]

Mark nobody trusts any woman in the first few meetings......and the same applies for them too. To build a trust it takes very long time for both of you. Just because you had sex the first 1-3 days doesn't mean that the woman is an easy lay and the gardener or milkman will be around when you go to work! I am sure you also understand that it take a big decision of the woman to have sex with you very soon.......as she thinks on the same lines as you too!

Do not judge a book by it's cover........ naturally you have to read it very carefully and at the same time you can have pleasure reading it!

The feelings, needs and views I think are mutual and the same, with some exceptions. My teacher told me that the exceptions prove the rule!

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#25  PostPosted: 23 Feb 2011 12:18 
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My view was always about like Markje expressed it. I had times when a woman was more than willing to hop into the sack when there was very little emotional connection yet and I always felt like she would be doing the same with the mailman, cable guy and anyone she took a fancy too. I did have other times when I felt I had a strong emotional connection with a woman before we met or right from the time we met and it seemed appropriate.

Trust was the issue to a great degree. If we had sex for the sake of having sex it was an issue, if the sex was for the strong feelings we had then it wasn't. I think we tend to cubby hole women. This ones a friend or collague. Having sex may not be a good thing. This one is a sex partner. We don't want to marry her or be her friend, we want to go to bed with her. This one is a relationship partner. We like the sex but we want to respect her as well.

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#26  PostPosted: 23 Feb 2011 13:01 
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I'll throw out another thing to consider, putting any potential double standards aside, but one needs to consider the fact that many women on foreign facing dating sites have an agenda ranging from just wanting to meet a good man to wanting to escape a bad economic environment, to what degree is a topic for another thread. But, knowing that westerners are sometimes a little uptight about the subject, they may hold out on the sex front to make a good impression when in reality they shower often and soon in a relationship in the FSU. Anyways, as was mentioned, trust is a big part of a relationship along with respect (both of which is being judged when we talk about how soon a person is willing to have sex) and since both relate to character which is hard to know from a first meeting or several meetings limited in length as it could all be an act to reach an end goal. This is just one of the risks anyone needs to weigh when venturing overseas to seek a relationship. [wink.gif]


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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#27  PostPosted: 23 Feb 2011 15:39 
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I don't judge the woman or the number of dates, but instead judge myself and how I feel about her and the situation.

I met a beautiful tall model type girl at a party once. Months later I ran into her at a club and we hit it off again and exchanged numbers. Next day she was calling me and saying her and a bunch of friends were going to a place downtown and I should join them. So I showed up a little late...figuring it was no big deal since she was there with friends I didn't want to be waiting there alone. When I got there she was alone at a table for 2 waiting for me. Somehow I smelled trap. We had a nice dinner, she said her friends cancelled, and then proceeded to talk none stop about sex and how she loved lingerie. I drove her home after and she wanted sex in the car. I wasn't going for it with how the date started. Next date...same thing...wanted sex in the car and couldn't wait for us to go to either of our places. Next call she talked about how strange I was for her and we nicely drifted apart.

It wasn't the sex that was the red flag. And no need for any silly rules. I can think with both heads at the same time (although my arm falls asleep then) so I can make up my own mind on any given situation.


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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#28  PostPosted: 23 Feb 2011 20:53 
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A Boy and a Girl have chemistry.

If the chemistry is there then they make music.

Some times it takes a while for the chemistry to fall into place other times the chemistry falls into place within the first few glances at each other across a crowded room.

Who is to judge others, when it feels right, it is right.

As long as both parties are consenting adults where is the harm?

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#29  PostPosted: 07 Aug 2011 13:22 
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Turboguy wrote:
...I want to ask another question.

Did you consider it a red flag if sex came too quickly.

Maybe I am a prude.


Hehe, yes, you are. [wink.gif]


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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#30  PostPosted: 10 Aug 2011 00:47 
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10 minutes after you meet her she is having sex with you?? Yes that is way too soon. She would probably be doing the same thing behind your back.

I go for a three date rule personally. Sometimes it might happen in two. Depends on the "lady".

PS. One of my favorite movies is Ghosts of girlfriends past. Connor Mead can get almost any woman he wants to drop drawers and have sex with him right away. But he does not respect any of them--the only one he ever loved and respected was Jenny--and she made him wait!!

(I think it was at least 5 dates!!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghosts_of_Girlfriends_Past


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