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 Post subject: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#1  PostPosted: 02 Jun 2010 18:29 
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There is a discussion going on somewhere else about how quickly someone had sex with their wife. That is interesting however I want to ask another question.

Did you consider it a red flag if sex came too quickly.

Maybe I am a prude. One example of what I am talking about is an event that I talked about in my TR. I will give a thumbnail version here. I talked to a gal at an EC social in Moscow who had come from out of town. We talked for 10 minutes and towards the end of the social I asked her to dinner. She accepted and asked if she could leave her suitcase in the room. I said of course and we went to the room. I opened the door, she walked in, sat her small suitcase down, turned towards me, went down on her knees and unzipped my pants and got busy. After the dinner she spent most of the night attacking me non stop and was a firm believer in painful sex, and that is my pain not hers. For the next social my lips were about twice the size as normal and I had hickeys or black and blue marks all over my neck and face.

She was very cute, very easy to be with, had a nice personality, a great figure, seemed sincerly interested in me and probably met most of the qualifications that I would have looked for in a wife. The fact that she would have sex with someone she had known for 10 minutes bothered me a lot as did the fact that the sex was almost more painful than enjoyable. Even had she acted like a lady until after diinner might have not bothered me quite as much. I will post one other story in the next post but my question is, would something like that bother you? I guess my thinking is that someone who would have sex 10 minutes after meeting is more likely to have sex with the mailman, the newspaper boy and anyone else she has known for 10 minutes which is not one of the qualities that I would look for in a wife. What are your thoughts?

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#2  PostPosted: 02 Jun 2010 18:43 
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Here is another story of one that bothered me a bit. I started to write to a woman from Rostov. She was 36, and an accountant with a 15 year old daughter. After exchanging some letters she mentioned that she had a multi entry tourist visa to the USA and had vacation time coming in Febuary. She said if I could pay her airfare she would come and visit me for 12 days. I told her I had some trade shows in California but there was a free week between them and if she wanted to come there we could spend time in Los Angles and go to Vegas for a few days. She liked that idea and we went ahead with the plan. I charged a ticket in her name on my credit card which was safe enough.

She never made any requests about sleeping accomodations. She didn't ask for seperate rooms or even separate beds. I wrestled with at least seperate beds for a while and kept going from one to two thinking that it was more polite to at least have a separte bed for her even if we didn't decide to use it. Actually I had the reservation for a room with two beds and changed back to one when I checked in. She arrived and we had a nice time together. She was attractive, built nice and very easy to be with. She visited me one other time in the USA and I visited her in Rostov. I was very interested in her but it always bothered me a bit that she would fly half way around the world basically agreeing to sleep in the same bed with a guy she had never met.

After I quit seeing her I was reading on the now defuct RWG. A guy had posted that he was corresponding with a 36 year old woman from Rostov who was an accountant with a 15 year old daughter. He said he liked her but it really bothered him that she offered to come and visit him without asking about the sleeping arrangements. I did exchange a few pm's with him and it was the same gal. Since he had the same concerns, I know I am not the only one.

I have heard conversations about the 5 date rule which if someone has sex too soon men think of them as loose and if they wait too long men feel they are not interested. I have had times when I had so much chemistry built up ahead that sex long before the 5 days were up would not have bothered me but it did bother me if there was no emotional connection. I am not saying the sex bothered me but it made me feel the woman was not wife material.

So, anyway, I would like to hear others thoughts on this.

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#  PostPosted: 02 Jun 2010 22:34 
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Turbo,

This is a great question. Obviously we are men, and in our genetic make up is the desire to have sex with as many women as possible. When we see a woman that is attractive to us, we instantly want to have sex with her. This is how nature created us (or God, depending on your beliefs) but we still have our own free will.

Speaking for the younger generation, I would consider it a red flag for a woman to initiated sex after a very short period. It probably isn't the first time she's done it and many girls my age have an ulterior motive for sex. I speak for mostly AW's, because I know that many my age use sex as a way to "catch" a man, and they have low self esteem and feel it is all they have to offer. Things may be different with the older generation.

So yes, I would consider it a red flag for a woman that initiated sex so quickly. I wouldn't want to marry one.


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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#4  PostPosted: 03 Jun 2010 00:05 
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Guys,
Aren't we being a bit judgemental, or is it me that is being judgemental, answers on a postcard please :lol:

As I see it if we look at it from the other point of view, what would a lady think if a man hinted at a tumble at a very early stage of the acquaintanceship.

I will paraphrase from Brian's post "if it moves and wears a skirt" then we (as men) want to attempt to fertilise it.
A statement that I fully agree with because I and all the guys that I know think more or less along the same lines.

As I see it, sex is right when the time is right and that is when the individuals in question feel that the time is right.

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#5  PostPosted: 03 Jun 2010 00:44 
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Nobody forces anybody to have sex and sexual attraction is what drives both parties together in the first place and for that there are not fast or slow rules.

As Brian said, men are visual creatures, and the first 20 seconds what we see is what attracts us to her, therefore then we go to the second stage and start learning about the person and of course when the mutual attraction is there and the woman is prepared to have sex with you because, like you, she fancies you, then there is no problem there. [lol.gif]

The fallacy and 5 day rule has been created by some people, specially Americans who go over, meet one and then complete the K-1 visa application at the end of the week.

Obviously certain women who have ulterior motives to use you as a mule and not specifically looking to create a family, then they will use sex to achieve their goals, and us men...can't resist the opportunity to test her to see that we are compatible in bed! [wink.gif]

I am not a prude thus I never had any such reservations, neither would take hers and my desire to have sex as a Red Flag, because there are so many other things to observe and pay attention when you meet a prospective candidate. Any how if the attraction is mutual there is no better way to start your acquaintance and learn more about her! [biggrin.gif]

One time I was visiting Ukraine and I arranged to meet a woman in Kiev, so I booked a double room in a hotel and she met me at the Airport. She was very attractive and on the way to central Kiev it was clear that she fancied the pants of me....... so by the time we arrived at the hotel, the adrenalin was running very high for both of us, so there was no need to use the second bedroom and we decided to test my own double bed straight away to see if it was comfortable. For the next 4 days, while I was doing business meetings, we had a very enjoyable time too but it became clear to me that our characters were incompatible, so I told her straight to her face and she had no regrets, because she had the same opinion.

In another of my business trips to Ukraine, I called her and told her that I had some free days and she joined me for company, with no strings attached! [veryhappy.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#6  PostPosted: 03 Jun 2010 00:51 
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If she is cavalier about sleeping arrangements or initiates sex very quickly, the odds are high she's behaved like that with other men, too. Maybe it's not a bad thing to some guys, but it's something to consider.

I don't subscribe to any arbitrary number of days or dates, but "too soon" as subjective category is definitely a red flag. I'd say 10 minutes would qualify... I could be assaulted from prude-dom, which I'd find amusing, but it takes at least *some* time to build a connection worth exploring further. The exact amount depends on the individuals and the situation. For me, it was always pretty clear.


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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#7  PostPosted: 03 Jun 2010 12:06 
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Somehow I never have atracted those kind of women. [crying.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#8  PostPosted: 03 Jun 2010 12:32 
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Shadow wrote:
Somehow I never have atracted those kind of women. [crying.gif]


Could it be because of your looks? [sarcastic.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#9  PostPosted: 04 Jun 2010 15:33 
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I wouldn't know why Shadow. Lots of women like it doggie style.

I think we tend to put people in pigeon holes. I think we may meet one woman and put her in our mind as someone we want to be friends with. We might enjoy talking to them but they are not someone we would like as a wife or a lover. Others we put in a catagory as someone we would like to date or have sex with. We might not want to marry them even if they were the last woman on earth and we might not care to discuss the oil spill with them. Then assuming we are single we meet others that we consider wife material. I think for at least some guys we need to be attracted to them, to feel we have common goals and lifestyles, and we also want to respect them. Often someone who jumps into bed at the drop of a hat may not earn our respect. We might like that and think how lucky we are but we don't go out shopping for engagement rings.

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 Post subject: Re: Sex and the 5 day rule.
Post Number:#10  PostPosted: 21 Jun 2010 06:17 
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The 5-Day Rule = Large Crock of Shit

How demeaning to women in general, the specific girls in particular and so very indicative of the men who espouse this faux "theory" of relationships. I wrote these guys off as sex tourist wannabes immediately on hearing of this discussion.

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